


War Guilt

by Daegaer



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Weiß Kreuz
Genre: Anthropomorphic Personifications, Assassins, Crossover, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-09-13
Updated: 2004-09-13
Packaged: 2017-10-23 03:51:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/246006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Schuldig knows Carmine is one hell of a woman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	War Guilt

  
Even for an accomplished telepath, Schuldig had a strong-willed personality. Or a stubborn streak several kilometres wide, when viewed from the point of view of someone who didn't have as positive an outlook on Schuldig as Schuldig himself did. Either way, however, the upshot was this:

When Schuldig believed something, he really _believed_ it.

  
* * *

  
"I'm not who you think I am," Carmine said in the anonymous hotel bed, lazily rolling over and running one perfectly painted scarlet fingernail down Schuldig's chest.

"I'm an international man of mystery myself," he said, wondering if his heart was really going to explode from the best sex he'd ever had. He told himself that this was one woman he'd make a point of seeing again.

"Oh, _please_. You already told me you're an assassin and a telepath."

"Did you believe me? People usually don't."

Carmine smiled, and he shivered in delight. "I believe you. I'm a great fan of your work."

  
* * *

  
"I'm really not who you think I am," Carmine said in the blandly decorated Brussels bar, sipping at the Bloody Mary that Schuldig had just ordered for her.

"Yes, you are," he said, and smiled as everything around them rattled and shook. She would look magnificent in the midst of chaos.

"What was that?" the bartender asked in fright.

"The E.U. Headquarters," Carmine said, smiling at Schuldig.

He grinned back at her and paid for their drinks with a crisp new $1000 bill.

"Keep the change," he said to the astonished bartender, and took Carmine dancing.

  
* * *

  
"I'm _not_ who you think I am," Carmine said with a frown as they stood hand-in-hand, admiring the sunset over the crater that had once been Washington.

"Don't be silly," Schuldig said, holding strands of their hair together and admiring the mix of colours. He pulled her close and thought of how he was going to bring about a whole new kind of war.

"Who _do_ you think I am?" she asked curiously.

"You're one hell of a woman," he said, and tripped her up and fucked her amongst the powdered bones while she laughed.

  
* * *

  
"I'm not what you think I am!" Carmine screamed at him as he carefully wiped her mouth and gave her a glass of milk to take away the taste of vomit. "I'm not! How dare you do this to me!"

"You were the one who said we didn't have to worry," Schuldig snapped. "I always suspected you weren't really on the pill."

"Of course I wasn't on the pill! I'm not a real woman! I feel like crap!"

"Oh, Carmine," Schuldig said, with as much sympathy as he could be bothered putting in his voice, "of _course_ you're a real woman. You're still _very_ sexy, you shouldn't run yourself down like that. I still find you attractive, you don't have to worry about losing me. I won't leave you, Liebchen, but you have to understand - I'll pay the child support but I won't marry you. I can't - I'm too much of a free spirit."

Carmine growled and went for him, but she wasn't feeling herself lately and something else Schuldig strongly believed in was his ability to outrun just about anything. She listened to him yelling something about hormones from a safe distance and shuddered at the comforting tone. He believed he could get her though this.

She didn't think she'd be getting any choice in the matter.

* * * * * * * * * *


End file.
